Why Are Boys Bad?

{By Lori Chilton}

‘Boys are bad at making friends. And it’s at the heart of their violent behavior.’

‘Female-driven movies bring a welcome shift in tone to theaters.’

‘Do Father’s Day cards that portray dad as an incompetent boob reflect today’s fathers?’


These are headlines from today’s Washington Post. It’s been said over and over, and I have no new way of saying it, no new revelations nor wisdom, but the fact that boys (and men) are being seen as superfluous – may I even say dangerous –  in today’s “enlightened” society mightily grieves this mom of two boys and wife of one amazing man.

Are boys truly bad at making friends or do their friendships not look like what we think they should look like?

Men were created to protect and defend, would we be willing for our boys to make friends at the local shooting range or hunt club? Men are competitive. Perhaps we should allow them to learn to play sports in an arena that actually keeps track of who wins and who loses.

Where did the idea that there are “no winners or losers” come from anyway?  Everyone on the sideline knows which team wins.  Why not celebrate the hard work of the winners and give the losing team something to strive for?

Do we really just want to see just “female driven” movies? There aren’t enough bad romcom movies already? Really? Any woman who is honest and who has spent time in groups of all women/girls knows that there is often no more awful, judgmental, catty place to be.  When we dress to go out, or diet to lose weight if we’re honest about our intentions we know that we are doing so to impress or be accepted by other women.

Most men could care less about what we wear or if we’re carrying an extra 5, 10 or 20 pounds.  They just don’t notice. I love my girlfriends and I love my daughter but I know that we are better for having our personalities balanced by the men/boys in our lives. Why must one sex be “better” than another?

Why are we not allowed to compliment rather than compete with one another?

Why are boys not allowed to be boys? Sometimes messy, sometimes loud, lovers of what seems to me to be the disgusting or the not-even-remotely funny but also helpful, respectful, and loving.  Perhaps their love comes in the form of killing spiders, digging holes for my garden, or changing the oil in my car and not bouquets of pretty flowers, dusting the living room or romantic, candlelit dinners.

But it is love.

Just because I  may have come home and found one of our children’s diapers held together with duct tape doesn’t make my husband an incompetent boob.  He changed a diaper, ran into a problem, and solved it.  I am grateful. I am loved.

I am worried that the boys that we are raising to be Men of God will be beaten down in this society.  I am afraid that the only young men my daughter will meet will be feminized versions of what they could be.  I pray continually for the young christian men and women I know.  That they will look to scripture and not society for their gender role models.  I pray for the unknown spouses of my sons.  May they be women who love men.

Real men.  Real men who love God. Because that is who we’re raising them to be.

What do you think about society’s view of boys and men? Comment below, we love hearing from you! 
Thanks to Lori Chilton for letting us post this fantastic article from her blog


  1. […] a world where society cuts men down before they have a chance to speak, stereotypes them as  dangerous or incompetent, and women in the media are forever playing victim, it can be hard for men to actually be real men. […]

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