The Boyfriend/Girlfriend Perspective: 4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship

{By Samantha Nicole & Paul}

What if amid the diets and Bible-in-a-year plans we took a few moments to come up with ways to improve our relationships?

ways to improve your relationship

Whether you’re newly dating, engaged, or well-seasoned married folks, there’s at least one way you could improve your relationship with your partner.

It would be unfair to only write this article for the girls, so I’ve enlisted the help of a wise-beyond-his-years and super handsome guy to help me out … That’s right, folks, my boyfriend Paul is chipping in his two cents.

For the Ladies

by Samantha

1. Stop expecting him to be perfect.

There comes a moment in every relationship when you realize that the guy you’re dating isn’t always clean-shaven and chivalrous. He’s also going to say things that hurt you, and you’re going to want to flip out all over him. Just stop and breathe for a moment. Our men aren’t perfect, they never will be, but we’re called to love them as as Christ loves us, and we definitely aren’t without fault. Freeing your mind of the expectation of perfection will ease your stress and remove unnecessary pressure from your relationship this New Year.

2. Don’t go to bed angry.

Ever. Return his texts and call him back… Even when you’re upset. No one should ever have to lie in bed staring at the ceiling wondering what they did to ruin something wonderful. They deserve an explanation, even if it’s nothing more than “I need to think about this… I’ll call you tomorrow”. Sure, you may be rip-roaring mad and want nothing more than to drown yourself in a puddle of angry tears while eating gelato and watching The Notebook in an attempt to console yourself, but I can almost guarantee that he’s doing whatever guys do to relieve anger and frustration. (Hit things? Watch war movies? Eat mass amount of potato chips? I actually have no idea what they do. Paul? *wink*) Just a simple text letting him know that you need a bit of space could go a crazy long way. Take a breather and go back at it in the morning, but don’t go to bed without taking at least a few moments to help settle each others’ tempers.

3. Learn to cook his favorite meal.

Or how to make his coffee. Or what his favorite perfume is. Just one thing that says “I’m interested in learning what you like, and I want to show you just how much I care.” It may even be something you’re not necessarily fond of. For instance, Paul loves cream soda, I, however, am not a fan; but I’ll pick some up every once in a while just because it’s his favorite. It’s totally worth his excited smile when I carry the case in. Just one small moment of you deliberately showing your love for him could shine out from 2015 for many years to come.

4. Cut “always” and “never” from your vocabulary.

Using exaggerations just causes frustration. There are definitely days when it seems like he never listens and always leaves his socks on the bathroom floor, but saying that in the heat of the moment is only going to spark tempers. Imagine a whole year without you generalizing his faults; whoa, right? Let’s aim to be peacemakers this year, not a chaos causers.


For the guys

by Paul


Guys, when she needs to talk, listen to her.  You do not need to worry about trying to fix the problem … if she needs your help she will ask you.  Learning to listen to Samantha is one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn during our relationship.  I always have an opinion I feel needs to be voiced and I try to fix every problem I encounter. But that’s not always what she wants.  Sometimes she just wants to talk … to verbally process a storm of thoughts in her mind.  So strive this year to be there for your girl by being willing to quietly listen when she needs to talk.  You will be amazed how much this simple act will strengthen your relationship.

2. Don’t go to bed angry.

Re-read what Samantha said to the ladies.  The same exact thing applies to us guys.  Do not slam that phone down before bed.  Even if you cannot resolve what’s wrong don’t go to bed on bad terms. Resolution will be easier when you can call a cease-fire and agree to discuss your issues when you are not tired.  While it may seem that you are letting a problem fester, agreeing to discuss your issues when you have had time to relax and process everything will in fact make resolution easier and will help you avoid issues in the future.  Learning how your other half handles arguments is the first step to resolving problems in a healthy and constructive way.

3. Do something special for her.

Have fun choosing one date to be extra special.  Pick out her favorite flowers and take her to a fancy restaurant.  I have so much fun making Samantha feel like the only girl in the world.  Girls love it when their guys make them feel special. Make opportunities this year to show your love for her in a special and unique way!

4. Study the Bible together.

Pick a book of the Bible to read through together and find times to talk about it either over the phone or a cup of coffee.  I think it is important to begin the habit of worshipping God together while you’re dating.  A healthy and successful relationship is aimed at God and as you and your significant other grow closer to God you will grow closer to each other.

What kind of resolutions would you make for your relationship in 2015?


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