Does Jesus Fit in My Love Life?

{Guest Post By Sarah Mebasser}

If there’s one thing about romantic relationships I wish I had understood in my teen years and early twenties, it’s this:

My life was perfectly full without it.

I wasted so many hours daydreaming about what it would be like to have a boyfriend to share all these wonderful experiences, that I seriously detracted from the experiences themselves.

It’s been said that the moments we most enjoy are also the moments we most want to share with another. We’ve all had the experience of seeing something really funny or catching an incredible sunset or a perfect mountaintop view and wishing we had someone with us to share the joy of the moment. But the mistake I now know I made was thinking that I didn’t have someone to share it with—thinking that if only my perfect soulmate were with me, the moment would be that much more perfect. But what I know now is that I did have my perfect soulmate with me. And He was taking just as much joy in the scenery or the joke as I was.

Having been married for almost thirteen years now, I can say that laughing with my husband and sharing amazing sunsets and views with him has been lovely and fun and sweet. But as much as I love being with my husband, he still doesn’t meet that deep ache of loneliness that I felt when I was single and longing for a romantic relationship.

I know now that he was never meant to.

does jesus fit in my love life

The desire we feel inside for romance and belonging and the perfect communion of our soul with another—that desire can never ever be met by another human being.

This was a hard and heart-breaking realization for me. I believed that if my husband and I just worked hard enough at our marriage—that if we communicated well enough and understood one another’s love languages and sacrificed for one another—that we would find the fulfillment that everyone else seemed to be missing. But eventually I had to face the hard fact that no matter how many hours we spent talking and trying to understand one another, our relationship would never be able to fill the void in our souls.

Imagine how discouraging that was—I’d been waiting for years for the perfect man to come along and make all my fairy tale dreams come true, but here he was and it still wasn’t enough. I questioned if there was something wrong with me that made me perpetually dissatisfied. And I questioned if there was something wrong with him—if I’d chosen the wrong man, or if I should have waited till I was older, or if I should have never gotten married at all.

But after a few years of wading through these disappointments, I got a glimpse of hope. I slowly started to become aware that there was someone in my life who loved me the way I wanted (and needed) to be loved. Someone who enjoyed the things I enjoyed and laughed at the same things I did and just delighted in being together. And to my surprise, it was Jesus.

I had known him as a guide, a rescuer, a voice of wisdom. But I had not known him as the lover of my soul. I had not known how sweet life could be when I shared every moment with him—whether watching the stars overhead or walking the aisles at Target. I had forgotten that I ever wanted that kind of intimacy with someone—I’d buried it under busyness and responsibilities and relationships that were “good enough.”

But it wasn’t good enough. Not really. Not for me, and definitely not for Him.

So he reminded me that I had once longed for a perfect relationship with a perfect soulmate. And He was that soulmate.

I’m a better wife and mother and friend for realizing it. And I’m happy for the first time in a very long time. And I wish and pray that you may find this true fulfillment as well—not in a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a fiancée or a spouse or even a best friend. But in the One who loves your soul to its very depths and knows your longings and desires to fulfill every last one of them.

“You are my Lord; I have no good besides You….You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Psalm 16:2, 11


Sarah lives in the San Francisco Bay area, where she works as a part-time writer and full-time mother.  She is a Messianic Jew who loves to explore her thoughts about God, life, and truth on her blog.

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