5 Things I’m Looking For in a Husband

{By A Twenty-Something}

What attracts me to a guy?  What does a man look like that I want to marry?

Since I’ve been working, several people have asked me about my views on relationships and what I am looking for in a husband or potential boyfriend. There have also been more awesome guys in one place than I’ve experienced. All these things have caused me to consider what I am looking for.

5 things you need in a husband

As I have pondered this for the last several weeks I have come up with 5 things that I am looking for in a husband:

1) A man who is actively pursuing a relationship with the Lord.

He needs to be growing in Him, and excited to share about it. I will know if a young man is growing in the Lord by the fruit in his life. This quality to me is important because if the young man is growing as a result of his pursuit of God He will continually be trying to become better, serve the Lord, and lead a family to glorify Him.

2)  A man who cherishes and respects me.  

Respecting me shows his love for me, that he’s willing to put aside his needs and desires to provide and protect me. I will see these through the way he treats his mom, sisters, and the other women in his life.

3)   A man who loves to have fun and makes me laugh.

I want someone who is optimistic and positive. My favorite people to be around are the ones who make me laugh, bring out the best in me, and help me have fun. My personality does not naturally have fun, so I need someone to drag me into fun with him!

4) A man who is humble but confident.

Humble: takes advice, has mentors, is willing to change and consider other’s ideas.  Confident: makes decisions, leads, goes for it, initiates things, stands his ground when it’s important. In other words, a masculine man.

5)  A man who takes action and fights to the end.  

If a man is characterized by fighting for things that are important to him even when it seems impossible, it is more likely that he will fight for our marriage to work even when it’s hard.

I still believe that a man should be able to support a family financially before getting into a relationship, but I would put that under point 2.  If a man is truly cherishing a respecting a woman he is not going to enter into a relationship that he cannot see through.

The most important advice for a young man pursuing a woman: put God before her and put her before yourself.

what to look for in a boyfriend

Make protecting your relationship with God more important than your relationship with her or your hope of one.  Make protecting her more important than yourself or a relationship.

To put her first you must:

1)  Seek the Lord

2)  Get to know her and those around her without letting her know your hopes or intentions.

Essentially, you’ve noticed that she might be the one (you’re at least very interested), now you’re exploring the realistic possibility.  This provides some protection because you are able (hopefully) to discern whether or not you want to pursue the relationship further.  Instead of getting the girls hopes up as soon as you have interest you get to know her and those who love her to see if she really is who you think she is.

3) Go slow and honor her wishes.

Hopefully, as you have built relationships with those closest to her you have been able to learn what she is looking for and how you both can continue journeying toward Christ.  Please know that in some cases honoring her wishes could be a deferred intentional relationship or never pursuing such.

In the end, I don’t want to enter any relationship or marry anyone unless we can glorify God better together than we can apart.

What do you think? What are you looking for in a spouse? Comment below! 

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