5 Things I’ve Learned from Getting Engaged

{By Samantha Nicole}

Drumroll, please. I’M ENGAGED, Y’ALL! Say what?!

Yep. Paul popped the question a little over three weeks ago and I said “yes”! (Well, I almost didn’t, but then he reminded me that I had to stop hugging him and answer his question.) There are so many emotions that have been swirling around in my little 5’3” frame these few weeks, and I’ve learned a couple of things from this experience.

what you need to know when you get engaged

Remember, I did just get engaged, so some of my comments in the following paragraphs may be super cheesy, just roll with it, OK?

1. You’re never ready.

Paul and I had discussed engagement on many occasions during the months leading up to his proposal. I had a pretty good idea that it was coming soon, but I wasn’t 100% sure when/where/how he’d actually do it. Long story short, I figured out what was going on the day he proposed. I was attempting to be really cool and all “act like you don’t know because you don’t want to ruin it”. I thought I was pretty chill about the whole thing … That is, until he actually pulled out the ring and got down on one knee.

I totally lost it.

My stomach has never ceased to be a stomach that quickly in my entire life. There was a solid mass of tempestuous tidal waves in my diaphragm and all coherent thoughts flew out of my mind. Here I was being all “cool” and “ready” and I couldn’t even calm myself down enough for him to “say things” as he so eloquently put it.

Lesson #1: don’t think you’re ready because, trust me, you’re not.

2. You don’t have to have answers.

Everyone and their brother’s second cousin’s aunt’s friend is going to want to know your date, your colors, your venue, the color of your dress, and who your bridal party is … Less than twenty-four hours after your engagement. Not even kidding. I was in no way ready for the bombardment of questions from people I even hardly knew. And guess what… I didn’t have answers. Paul and I didn’t have a date when we got engaged. But it doesn’t matter. It’s OK to answer that you don’t know, people understand. And then when you do know, you just get to be all giddily excited all over again!

Lesson #2: Have patience. 

3. Engagement is a magnifying glass.   

Remember that annoying thing your boyfriend did? Yeah, it’s going to be a million times worse when your fiancé does it.

Any communication issues to even the way he combs his hair are going to seem amplified. Just calm down and look at things objectively. And talk about them. Don’t just slide things under the rug. And if they keep getting worse, start premarital counseling. Now. Go call your pastor. Figuring out that you have issues that may not be able to be resolved or compromised upon while dating is bad enough, it’s so much worse after you’ve decided to marry that person. As horrible as breaking off an engagement can be, it’s way better than putting off something that could wind up undermining your marriage.

Lesson #3: Communicate well.

4. Becoming bridezilla is terrifyingly easy.

I’m a very laid back person who can catch balls out of left field pretty well. Then I got engaged and, all of a sudden, I wanted to be this raving wild woman who had to have everything done her way. Like, what?!

I found myself whining about the color “true red” versus “burgundy” and complaining about needing a venue NOW.

I had to take a step back and realize what I was doing. When I took a few moments to analyze my behavior, I was shocked! I’m not that kind of girl! I did a whole lot of soul searching in those moments and apologized to my poor fiance. Besides, letting my mom and future mother-in-law and my sister handle things takes so much pressure off of my shoulders.

Lesson #4: Don’t lose your mind, it scares people.

5. Be a couple.

Just because you’re engaged doesn’t mean you get to forget that your significant other exists and start dumping your life into tulle and frosting.

Take time to still do “your” things as a couple.

Read Scripture and continue to build your spiritual relationship as a unit, go out on dates, and have “wedding free” nights.

Remember that this is a stepping stone to a future of “oneness”. Your foundation has been laid, now it’s time to start on the walls. Build them neatly and securely together. Imagine how awful you’d feel if you became so caught up in the wedding craziness that you forgot about your marriage. Make time for each other, because after the champagne has been toasted and the sparkers die out, you’ll be sitting next to your brand new spouse. And oh how joyous that should be.

Lesson #5: Be the couple that you both love.

I’m sure I still have a ton to learn about being engaged, and I can’t even begin to fathom everything marriage will teach me! However, with the insanity of life falling upon me, I must bid adieu to all you lovely readers. I have been so blessed to have had this monthly ability to share my life with you, but I now have a wedding to plan and husband to invest in. I may pop in as the editor allows (hehehe!), so look for my new adventures occasionally!

And remember that “life is a mess and a miracle, so pick up a broom and dance.” – Jennifer Trafton

What are your thoughts? Comment below to let Samantha know how much we love her!! 

what do you think? share with us:

%d bloggers like this: